I want my family to understand how important this is to me and help me, at least encourage me on this path. Instead I feel like the husband beside me is a complete stranger, rather than the soul mate I thought I had.

I hit the gym this week a total of 2 hours and 20 minutes. I did have one 20 oz full calorie soda, the rest was water or diet soda. I had breakfast 4 out of 7 days. I worked my ass off at work, 14 hours of overtime. Not including the 3 hours for lunches, the 12 hours of travel time. I am exhausted to the point of tears. It is my only day off and I have to spend it cleaning, rather than resting up for the next week of overtime. Because my family was "too tired" to help clean. WTF do you think I am?

I don't want an affair, I don't want to cheat on my husband but dammit I want to feel like someone desires me. Like I hold some value other than the paycheck and the ass I give up. It is 1 in the afternoon and I am bawling my eyes out while he snores behind me. I want someone to walk beside me, to hold me when I sob. TO MOTHER FUCKING GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME!!!